Maya in the Box

Last Tuesday (May 26, 2020), I was on a call with the women’s council from my church. We still had been having prayer calls and events for the women at large but it had been a while since we had gathered to just talk to and enjoy one another. We opened with prayer, scripture, and an encouraging word. We shared many laughs and smiles before we really dove in. So as the Zoom call was going on, the question, “are you struggling with anything during this time?” was raised. 

🤔🤔🤔

Why YES, yes I am struggling with something! For the most part, I have really been struggling with my job lately. If I’m being honest, I’ve been struggling since about February. Not from my actual job, but the work environment that has been created by upper management. Never having received any type of compliments, always, criticism, has left an extremely bad taste in my mouth. It wasn’t just me either, all of my coworkers had experienced the same thing.  Back in February I was accused of something I didn’t do and an investigation was opened against me. No surprise to me, it was proven to be baseless and HR took no actions against me. But for some odd reason, my director continued to push the issue as if I had indeed done something wrong. I tried to ignore it. Things just continued to happen that are unsettling but I pressed forward and tried to brush things off. 

Here we are, the end of May. They’ve now told us that they are reducing our workforce from 40 hours per week, to 32 hours week. Ok, that’s fine, no biggie. Here’s the kicker. They’ve now told us that we will be FORCED to use our PTO to cover the remaining 8 hours and we can’t have leave without pay. That doesn’t become an option until we exhaust ALL of our PTO. Wait what?! 😳 How is that fair? How is that legal? How is that ethical?!? So you mean to tell me, if I say, “hey I’m totally fine with only being paid for 32 hours”, that’s still not an option!? Precisely! 

Needless to say that was the thorn in my side that I discussed.

The women empathized with me and my favorite First Lady on the planet challenged me to do something the next day on my way to work. She challenged me to continue to get myself pumped up in the morning and remember that I’m doing this unto God and not man. So I woke up, turned on my shower and started playing my gospel. I prayed in the shower like I always do, got out, and began to get ready to tackle the day. When I was in the car on my way to work, I kept Never Lost by Elevation Worship on repeat. Cuz after all, He’s never lost a battle, and continues to come through again and again because He can do all things but fail! 🙏🏽🙌🏽

So I get to work the next day and go inside. Not even ten minutes after me being there, I get a call from one of my patients. She’s well, cussing me out because she didn’t like a result of an action. 😳🤔🤯🥴🤦🏽‍♀️ BRUH! It’s not even 8am!! Why am I being subjected to this?!?! Oh and let me not forget, as I’m explaining, I get hung up on! 🙄 Mind you, I didn’t even do anything lol. 

CHILE, I DONE GOT PUMPED UP FOR THIS DAY! This is how it’s going to go?!?! Naw bruh! I need a shift! Fix it Jesus!

The day goes on. I do group and it was a really great group! There was this motivational interviewing webinar that I tuned into that was facilitated by Dr. Jasmine Brown and it was phenomenal! I had supervision and it was also pretty dope. So I thought the trajectory of my day had changed for the better. It’s Wednesday, so I go and check my pay statement. I see that last week what I submitted was adjusted with not even so much as a conversation with me. Long story short, I submitted PTO for some time, and more was taken from me. NO! You got the wrong one! Actually, you got the right one because I’m gonna speak up! 

So y’all know me, I gotta say what needs to be said. 😅😅 So I pointed out the discrepancy on the leave that had actually been used and what was charged to my account. The director tried to justify what she did (there’s no justifying when you’re wrong). So I had to assertively gather her edges really quickly lol. Prior to sending my response, I called my supervisor and gave her a heads up about what was going on. She advised me that I probably was going to get a very nasty response to my email. That didn’t matter to me. I was respectful yet matter of fact in what I said. If the recipient decided to show a level of decorum that was less than stellar, then so be it. But it was in that moment, that exact moment, I was released to tell my truth. I told my supervisor, “I tried, I really did. But I have got to go. This isn’t the place for me and I want you to know in advance, my resignation is coming”. Part of me wanted to tell her because I didn’t want her to be blindsided because she’s really been a remarkable supervisor. The other part felt like I should speak up before the director tried to twist it into something that hadn’t occurred because she’s, well, famous for doing that! I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

After work, I called and texted several people whom I trust and value their insight. I felt confident in my decision to resign and knew that it was time to solidify the date. I had a few minutes to spare to hop in the shower before our women’s prayer call. I got on the line just in time! The encouraging word before the prayer confirmed everything that I knew God had said to me! It was from the book Cat in the Box. You see, the cat always had a box but was using it to build something greater. People only saw the box but he saw so much more! He created so much more with what he had! It was indeed, time for me to step out of the box. I was created for so much more than to simply be inside of the box and confines of the 9-5 lifestyle. It simply doesn’t work for me. I have to be free to move about as I please. I’m more effective when I feel like I can truly flow the way God wants me to. I need to be able to be a blessing to God’s people in a new way! I felt the pushing and I responded to it. God has more for me than to be stuck in a place that I hate going to, just to say I’m earning a paycheck! 

People had been asking me if I had anything lined up and I would respond and say no. Then suddenly it hit me. I was flat out LYING! So the next time I was asked that, my response was, “Yup. God!”. Cuz baby, if you know me, then you KNOW that I know without a shadow of a doubt that GOD ALWAYS PROVIDES! 

You see my God has promised me an ABUNDANT life, filled with the desires of my heart! He said to make my requests known to Him! All I gotta do is seek Him and His will for my life!!!! I’m so excited to tell y’all this!!! TODAY, JUNE 1, 2020, I RESIGNED FROM A PLACE THAT I STARTED TO LOATHE WITH NOTHING BUT A PROMISE FROM MY HEAVENLY FATHER! But don’t get me wrong, it was not the work, it was the atmosphere. I was suffocating and I knew victory was on the other side of my obedience of not settling just because I knew the income was guaranteed. I’m going to miss my coworkers, direct supervisor, and patients so much, but I know God will cover them all. He’s a promise keeper and I trust Him! Great things are in store for me y’all! I encourage y’all to take whatever leap of faith that you need to! HE GOT YOU! DO IT!

❤️MrR❤️

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